Sex Is What We Are

Over the last weeks and months, I have felt a truth presenting itself strongly in my body, slowly forming in my mind with greater clarity: We need to completely rethink our relationship with ‘sex’!

Sex is not something that can be boxed and labelled as ‘an activity’ that we engage in, either with ourselves or with a partner. Sex is not something that we do. Sex is what we are. In my belief, sexual energy is no different from Eros energy, which is the same as Life Force energy.

Sexual energy is Life itself, Existence flowing through our bodies, keeping us alive, living through us as One Life. It is SUCH a powerful force. It is wild, it is deep, it is true. It has nothing to do with the labels that Consensus Reality applies to ‘sex’, by which we define our known world, our society, or the collective agreements that we have as a society about what is ‘real’ and what is not. Life itself is so much bigger than that. So much bigger than what our human minds have collectively decided, named and labelled. Life, the force of Life, is a Mystery.

For this reason, culture, afraid of this immense and uncontrollable power, has split off ‘sex’ into ‘an activity’ separated from our ‘being’. As long as we stick to the rules of Consensus Reality, the world as we know it can continue. We will go along with what we are being told about life, about who we are and what we can, and especially what we cannot, do! And here ‘sex’ lives; in the shadows of culture, at the same time shamed, exploited and commercialized. Sex has become split off as something we need to step in and out of, as if we were sometimes, (and only “when appropriate”) sexual beings, but most of the time not.

This split impacts us deeply. We are deprived of our deep and natural connection to Life itself, our natural sense of belonging in the world, of belonging in Life. It creates the feelings of isolation and inner deadness that is haunting humanity. We tend to want to ignore it, to pretend we’re fine. We put up a survival personality and get on with it like good, domesticized citizens. But the truth is that we are a humanity ruled by fear, disconnected from our deeper being.

This is why we need to reclaim sex as an integral part of our Self. Not as an energy that we decide to connect with when we want to engage in sexual activity, but as an energy that is already there, in each moment, in each breath. It connects us to Life. It is Life.

In my view, the act of ‘sex’ is a life-sustaining ritual where we cultivate, nurture, grow (pray, meditate, honour) the Life that is living through us. This can take as many forms as we desire. I’m not preaching ‘sacred’ sex that has to look in a specific way, but a reintegration between ‘sex’ and ‘life’. It is thinking about sex as the ultimate honouring of life. And therefore to bring consciousness to how we want to do that through its physical expression.  We need to ask ourselves in each moment, how we want to honour Life in us: playful, raw, deep, tender… life itself has no singular expression, as long as there is consciousness and love.

When we begin to think of sex as the core of our being we become whole, reconnected with ourselves, as truly alive beings. In my next post, The Power of Pleasure, I will discuss how that impacts our experience of ourselves, our engagement with life and our ability to experience pleasure.